need you like water in my lungs

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Mon, 13 May 2013 01:40:22 -0400

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Mon, 13 May 2013 00:39:23 -0400

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Mon, 13 May 2013 00:17:16 -0400

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Mon, 13 May 2013 00:03:21 -0400

(via T. S. Eliot’s Iconic Vintage Verses About Cats,...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 22:49:39 -0400

(via T. S. Eliot’s Iconic Vintage Verses About Cats, Illustrated and Signed by Edward Gorey | Brain Pickings)

hello sweet tumblr

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 22:39:11 -0400

i missed you, lover.

da fuk

Thu, 31 Jan 2013 14:05:20 -0500

da fuk

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Thu, 24 Jan 2013 20:18:30 -0500

spazzles: permawkward: watercolor floral tattoos I think I’m...

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 02:25:40 -0500

spazzles:

permawkward:

watercolor floral tattoos

I think I’m going to make my next tattoo a watercolor style. They are just so beautiful.

these are so nice, but I’m told they don’t age well. those pink blossoms are going to look like burn scars in 10 years. that’s too bad.

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Thu, 24 Jan 2013 01:56:54 -0500

boycott valentine's day

Wed, 16 Jan 2013 01:30:59 -0500

When I say “boycott” I don’t mean I’m going to stand on street corners protesting against this “holiday” or buying roses to cover them in black paint, but I refuse to celebrate valentine’s day by buying into the ridiculous phenomenon. And here’s why:

Valentine’s day is nothing but a corporate money-grab. It’s not really a holiday, because there isn’t anything to celebrate. It’s just full of shit. Pink, heart-shaped, lovey-dovey shit.

Let me explain myself. Following the above statement most people respond with things like “Hey, you’re just being a Negative Nancy because you’re single and you just want to rain on everyone’s parade because you’re a loser and don’t have a valentine”. And no, that’s not the case. First off, I’m more than content being single as as-a-matter-of-fact am currently sort of super casually seeing someone. Perhaps it might even be less casual, more serious in a month from now. However, that won’t change my stance on valentine’s day. If I happen to have a boyfriend on valentine’s, whether it be this year, or ever, I’ll be welcoming him to go take a hike on that day. (That’s a lie, because that would be rude. I’d tell him to treat that day as any regular day, and not get me so much as a cinnamon heart. I happen to love that shit and therefore have no problem buying it for myself like I would a box of cereal or a frozen pizza.)

Thing is, every major brand and retailer is more excited for valentine’s day than a teenage girl on her first date. This “holiday” exists based on the social stigma that you HAVE to buy your special someone flowers, cards, chocolates, jewelry, etc in order to show your affection. But the truth is, affection has nothing to do with it. What REALLY has to do with it is the idea that you HAVE to participate in Valentine’s day because if you don’t you’re

a. a terrible person

b. leaving yourself out

c. making your lover feel unloved

Thus, as a result, there’s a stream of dudes rushing to flower shops and jewellery stores not because they want to, but because they’re expected to. It’s an obligation. And that’s kind of disgusting.

In my opinion, valentine’s day shouldn’t be a set day, but more of a concept that says

“Hey, pick a day out of the year where you surprise your special someone by doing something nice for them. Whatever you want - be creative. Do something they like. Buy them flowers IF they like flowers. Buy them chocolates and heart-shaped things, but only if that’s what they like. If they happen to like comic books or shrunken heads more then take it consideration. Plan a nice night. Take them out for dinner. Cook them a meal yourself. And do this only if you actually want to.”

Because that’s something a person might want to do for a girlfriend or boyfriend, because they like, love them and shit. Not because jewellery store ads are feeding you this bullshit that she will feel unwanted without that stupid sparkly garbage. In fact, forget that once-a-year bullshit. Do that shit when you want to, because you want to, and not because it’s February 14th and everyone is doing it and every store is sticking pink hearts in your face. I think valentine’s day cards need to be adorned with a disclaimer that says “I got this for you because everyone is doing it and I feel obligated to do so myself”. Genuine, right? It must be true love.

Do pick up a bag of cinnamon hearts this season, though. That shit is tasty.

(via The Fear Girls)

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 04:12:25 -0500

(via The Fear Girls)

Alberta College of Pharmacists is trying to ban Airmiles/Loyalty program points on prescriptions.

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 15:00:16 -0500

From what I understand, 70% of Albertan pharmacists are trying to ban customers and patients from earning loyalty program points when refilling their prescriptions (i.e. Airmiles at Safeway, Optimum points at Shoppers) since apparently some people are tempted to put off their refills until they can get them all on the same day and get extra points and it apparently discourages them from using smaller pharmacies.

Okay. So typically, I’m not the kind of person to take the side of corporate giants, but here’s the deal. Taking away rewards points from prescriptions doesn’t benefit myself as a consumer in any way whatsoever. The argument that people are delaying their refills so they can get them all on the same day is stupid. A lot of medications out there are meant to be taken on a daily basis, without stopping. By breaking the cycle, people would be putting their health in jeopardy, and depending on the medication, experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Would I want to jeopardize my health and purposefully make myself feel like shit just so I can earn some bonus points? Fuck no.

In fact, last time I was at the pharmacy, I was picking up both my prescriptions at once. And you know what? That shit is expensive! And as far as I know, it doesn’t matter if I pick them up together or separately, the price and point earnings stay the same - if I want a large lump sum of points, I’m going to be dropping a large lump sum of cash. I’m fortunate to have 80% insurance coverage on my prescriptions. But even after than, one of them costs about $1 per pill, so when I pick up a 90-day supply and throw my birth control into the mix, I’m leaving more than $100 at the counter.

And yes, having a discount on my make up, or magazines, or junk food that I pick up on my way out of Shoppers DOES make me feel hella better. Do the points give Shoppers or Safeway pharmacies an advantage over small pharmacies. Yes. But taking the points away doesn’t make me want to use the little pharmacy across the road from my house. Sure, it only takes a minute to walk there but the goddamn place closes early. From what I can see through their dark windows, they have a really small selection. They probably take longer to get medicine ready. And other than drugs and maybe tampons, they don’t sell so much as a fucking chocolate bar. Shoppers on the other hand, is open late. Some are open 24 hours. I can have the prescription filled quickly while I wait in the store, call it in, go online, or use a fucking app on my iphone if that’s easiest. I can go there at 11:30pm to pick it up, grab some make up from their miniature-Sephora make-up section, pick up a magazine, stock up on deodorant or tampons or what have you, and grab some basic groceries too JUST BECAUSE I CAN. Just because I have midnight cravings for ice cream or chocolate and I like that store better than 7/11. Just because it’s that store that I have to go to for my pills whether I like it or not.

I’ve used at least $30 in rewards at Shoppers this year alone, but a closer estimate would probably be $40 or $45. That’s a very reasonable amount of free merchandise. Just because I filled prescriptions on a regular basis, which is pretty much mandatory. What about people who have more medications, or fill prescriptions for their whole family? I can only imagine how expensive they can get. What’s so bad about letting the consumer save in a different area of the store, or online? It’s not like pharmacists are pimping out different medications based on their point value like “Hey, switch to this brand of birth control even though it may not be the right one for your body, this one will get you twice the points!!!”. And the rewards program itself has nothing to do with the pharmacy. It’s not like the reward is handed out in pharmaceuticals like “This weekend only! Refill your Xanax for 30 days and get 2 free pills! Refill your Xanax for 60 days and get 5 free pills! Refill your Xanax for 90 days and get 10 FREE PILLS PLUS A JUMBO SIZED LIMITED EDITION NEON POLKA DOT PILL BOTTLE* *while supplies last *limit 1 per customer”. That would be a pretty ridiculous scene, no?

But apparently there’s something awful about me being able to get a free piece of expensive make-up for spending hundreds on prescriptions each year. What the fuck, I’d take those $40 rewards even if they were limited to only things like vitamins or cough syrup or food. It’s just a goddamn perk and a nice surprise when you collect enough of them.

OK RANT OVER

just a thought

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 04:39:08 -0500

I have this theory about guys. And girls. And relationships. And cheating. And how everyone, including myself, is dissatisfied with relationships and stuff.

The other day I was hanging out with a friend, smoked a joint in my living room, had good chats, you know, typical lazy Sunday . We were both baked and tired, and it was getting late so I was ready to go to bed but before he headed home we went outside to have a cigarette on my porch. And it’s bloody freezing out. Dark, crisp, fucking bone-chilling. As we’re sitting there, we see this girl waddle across the parking lot, and as she gets closer it becomes apparent that it’s the girl my roommate’s banging. So she comes up to the door and she’s like shaking and chattering her teeth and I’m sitting there, in front of my roommate’s window behind which he’s probably toasty warm under the covers, while his car is in the parking lot and I’m sitting there, wondering out loud:

“If this girl is here to bang him, might potentially even classify as a girlfriend, why is she walking herself over here like she’s a pizza delivery? It’s a nasty winter night. Better yet, why doesn’t my roommate have enough manners to pick her up in his warm vehicle and bring her here, or even better yet, GO TO HER?”

After all, he gets to stick his dick in her. What does she get. 5 minutes of awful sex? I’m not making that up, by the way. 5 minutes of fake screams (which are probably not reinforcing the fact that it’s bad sex) that require so much effort of getting to. Why? Why do girls do this? And why is it that guys are ultimately not satisfied with this even though it is what they want and enjoy? After all, it’s not like my roommate doesn’t change these girls like he changes t-shirts. In fact, I suspect he changes these girls more often than he changes t-shirts. But I won’t go into that. Point is, whatever girl(s) filled that role in the summer didn’t even get to spend the night. This one just happens not to have a car, I guess.

And what I figure is, it’s a vicious cycle. You have these cliche girls who are mostly concerned with getting a guy and eventually, a soccer mom SUV, a beige house, 2.5 kids and a golden retriever. Because that’s the “norm” according to “society” - or it’s the american dream fed to us through toothpaste and laundry detergent TV commercials. (Because Tide makes your family full of love and joy while without Crest toothpaste, that hot guy who could be your ~soulmate~ won’t even talk to you because of your yellow teeth, you troll). So these girls put out. They stick on their gel nails and bleach the fuck out of their hair, throw on some stupid True Religion jeans and go out on the town with the hopes that someone will stick their dick into them. And then they get fucked and stick around for the night giggling and talking about the next big Coach factory store sale while the dude just smiles and nods. I bet these girls go home thinking “Yes! That $100 I dropped at Victoria’s Secret did the trick!”. To some, that’s happiness. It’s all a fucking lie though.

What happens next? They get fucked a few times but this whole “relationship” is nothing but a false fucking ideal because the girls get so encapsulated by filling that ideal that to guys, they just seem like living versions of that “Shit Girls Say” youtube/twitter without valid personalities and that isn’t cool. I don’t believe that they don’t have personalities, they just get too obsessed with not really showing them. At least I hope. I really do hope that there is more to a person’s life than purses and getting salon/spa services.

So then what do the guys do? They dump these bitches. Or cheat on them. Whichever is more rewarding. I can’t blame them. They’re bored. I probably would be too. So then they go find a different girl - in fact, any other girl, any girl with any public display of personality - and pursue that one. After this point, the girl is either a carbon copy of the last one, which will just start the cycle over, OR, the girl is one with a bit more brains, or a bit more edge, and that one doesn’t even last as long as the giggly fake orgasm one because

1. she doesn’t have fake orgasms or giggles over every word

2. she’s more intimidating.

It’s true. Intelligence can be intimidating. I can confirm that. Sometimes being around people who are knowledgable makes you nervous. That’s kind of fucking cool though. Some people pursue shit like that because that’s enticing. Not slutty club outfits. I mean of course, a revealing dress will give a guy a boner, but he won’t remember that dress ever again except maybe for a split second while he’s jerking it in the shower, but words and conversations stick around for way longer than that. And some people are afraid of that. So yeah, they get it in with these girls who aren’t any less hot than the girl dancing on some pole at some bar, but it ends there because the girl has so much more than just looks to offer and actually has to be pursued. And who wants to pursue girls when there’s other girls who will just deliver themselves in the middle of the cold winter night to comfort you like a ~~Pizza Hut special~~? Pizza SLUT special - it’s the kind that you don’t have to pay for. HA.

And what’s worse is that the girls who have careers, goals, aspirations that don’t involve a guy as the achievement, get low self worth because guys go for what’s easy. And the girls that are easy are still not good enough because they’re boring yet they feel the only way to get a guy is to continue being easy. Because I mean, if a guy chucks them after she spreads her legs for him as he pleases, what chance does she have if she’s harder to get? It’s a morbid way of thinking. But no one is okay with being single these days it seems, so somehow, half-assed so-called “relationships” are somehow better.

Except they’re not. That’s the thing. Is it so bad to be your own person and stop giving so many fucks about what the opposite sex thinks and just *live your life* as you please, and let someone be delighted by you- I apologize for quoting that stupid Bruno Mars song- ~just the way you are?

That’s just a crazy thought, though. It takes time, and confidence, and maybe just a little bit of faith in yourself or others for stuff like that to happen. It seems that to most people, the idea of being liked “just the way they are” (fuck this fucking song) translates to something like “being liked the way I am… after I put on my foundation, oh and my eyebrows, oh and at least some mascara too, oh and the Urban Decay Naked eyeshadow pallette shave my legs and dye my hair and go shopping for new outfits and stick my tits into this $80 Ultra Wonder Sexy Miracle Super Quadruple Push Up Ultra Voluptuous Front Closure Angel Baby Luxury Bra from VS”. That fucking Naked palette IS really nice make up but the whole idea behind it is “look natural without being natural” which is sort of suggesting that having a face that’s ACTUALLY naked is not okay. I keep thinking of the first 5 minutes of Bridesmaids. Perfect example of what I’m trying to explain here.

Oh well. Whatever. I’m kind of disheartened by pretty much everything this week. I haven’t ranted in a while. Christmas is in 11 fucking days, y’all. I still feel like I could lose my mind 1000 times over before the year ends, though.

I made a tumblr logo ornament 🎄

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 04:10:30 -0500

I made a tumblr logo ornament 🎄

ingva: Русалочка (Rusalochka) 1976 / I fell in love with this...

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 03:40:04 -0500

ingva:

Русалочка (Rusalochka) 1976 / I fell in love with this movie .

hey look, it’s me

kevin fenton must die

Sun, 25 Nov 2012 20:52:00 -0500

I’ve got a story to tell y’all today. Unfortunately this story doesn’t happen to be the best one, and it also happens to be mine. Quite frankly, I can only roll my eyes at it for so long and I need to purge this shit out of my system, once and for all.

So back in May, I started talking to this dude. Kevin. A pleasant-lookin’ fella, undoubtedly. Trouble is, he lives in my hometown that I don’t care to visit often, save for holidays and birthdays. Conveniently enough, Mother’s Day was around the corner and I’d become unexpectedly unemployed so I had plans to go visit my parents and gloat in my miserable thoughts of “what the fuck am I doing with my life?”. With my newfound free time to spare and an abundance of apathy, I spent a night with Kevin; we hooked up and I drove back home feeling a tad better than I did a few days prior. Didn’t think much of the hookup until my phone starts bursting with texts from this guy. Hallmark would gag at the level of cheesy affection that he expressed. Half the time I was puzzled, thinking “Uh, wasn’t that just sex?” and the other half the time I was giddy like a little girl because hey, even I can be a cliché sometimes. Shit made me feel good, you know? So I invited him to come hang out in Calgary after I got back from my road trip to Seattle at the end of that month. I was feeling like a million bucks, I had an awesome trip, I had a tattoo appointment scheduled and I was stoked to have a nice time with a hot dude (also, get laid) and at the last minute, he bails. Family shit, was his excuse. So we rescheduled. A week goes by and once again, he bails. “Sorry, babe. I’m broke. I get paid next week”. Once again, we reschedule. And once again, the day before he bails on me, and I slam my fist down on your table and demand to know how many excuses he’s got left to pull out of his ass and what the fuck his problem was. If you don’t want to hang out with me, then just say so. Don’t make plans and then back out at the last minute so I’m stuck at home, sitting on my ass with nothing to do. I’ve been through that shit before. It just isn’t cool. What do you suppose he tells me?

“Well, I don’t really know if I’m willing to put in the effort of going to see you because, like, I’ve been in a long distance relationship once and I went all this way to see her and she just like, ignored me and stuff. And I don’t even know you that well.”

I live two and a half hours away. Whoopdy-fucking-do. Shouldn’t have kept telling me that he’s going to go if he has a problem. I told him that to get to know a person, you obviously have to spend time with them. So he starts whining, about how “Oh, but why can’t you come here again? Yeah, I know you’re unemployed. Yeah I know that you don’t have a lot of money. Yeah, I know that you were here a month ago. Yeah, my parents did just give me a free car. I REALLY wanna see you again! I just can’t be bothered to drive over there myself. Not right now.”

I should have kicked my ass right then and there and done something more productive with my life, but I kept talking to him and one day he messages me and says “Hey! I’ve got a free weekend, and I was going to go to this family thing in Banff but my family sucks and I wanna come see you”. Here we go again. I hesitantly agreed and then a few days later he texts me with “No, I’m not available that weekend. I’ve got this family thing that I can’t miss in Banff”. Pardon me, Kevin? Didn’t you tell me that you weren’t going to that because you didn’t want to? Apparently not. He starts shitting his pants about how “family is his priority” and “you’re not” and “I can’t believe that you’d ask me to bail on my family” and blahblah blahblahblah until I got fed up and told him that the only thing I was sorry for was listening and believing him. What garbage. I stopped talking to him, briefly, until he comes back with this sappy “Oh I miss talking to you” bullshit. Nice.

The day before Canada day, which was the weekend of his Banff thing he texts me.

“Hey, I’m heading to Banff tonight, and it’s kind of a long drive, and I was wondering if I could crash at your place overnight since it’s on the way?”

Erm. Well, okay. So he comes over, spends the night, we hook up, and we both part ways in the morning - him to Banff, me to work. After I get home from work, he texts me again about how his head hurts and his family sucks and he’s dying of boredom and “Babe, I’m gonna come back to Calgary. What are you doing tonight?”. Seriously? I had that weekend booked off so we could hang out like we planned, but instead of following through he had a bitch fit. I took my work shifts back. And in the end, he spent 75% of that weekend with me regardless? God damn it. You see, he has this fucking complex of “Oh look at me, I’m damaged, I’ve had my heart broken, I’m sensitive and need to be treated right” but he’s so obsessed with himself that he can’t give enough fucks to show the same kind of respect in return. Woah. Deja vu. Imagine if the tables were turned. If I was the one changing my mind like that.

I figured it wasn’t worth my while to emotionally invest in a person like that, and that appeared to be a good decision. We still talked often, and I still went down to visit my family a couple more times that summer. We hung out again, smoked weed, had sex, went for breakfast, etc. Reminder - this guy is rather good-looking (and knows how to fuck, frankly). Why wouldn’t I? Especially since we’ve always had a good time hanging out.

After my birthday at the end of August, we sort of stopped talking as much. I was working full-time, my shitty car broke down, he was doing his own thing. I wasn’t too bummed. In September I’d noticed what seemed like a thing he had going on with this girl so I stopped talking to him worth together. I mean, it’s not like we ever had much to talk about. In fact, I’m trying really hard to think of one valid conversation we may have had but I have nothing. Nothing. So get this, as soon as I stop showing interest in him, he starts texting me again about how he’s been thinking of me. Fucking great. I figured the girl was just another fling of his. So we started talking again, casually. I visited at the beginning of last month for Thanksgiving and to meet my newborn niece, and we hung out again. And we didn’t have that nice of a time. He didn’t want to say anything, and I was so stoned that I was desperately to fill the awkward silence with anything (ANYTHING. I turned into a trivia-spitting machine). We fucked, I went back to Calgary and the next time we spoke he told me off.

“You talk too much. You’re so selfish. You didn’t even let me talk. What makes you think I give a fuck about that stuff”. Etc.

Fuck this guy. I sat there asking him about his week, and what’s wrong, what happened and he didn’t want to give me more than a vague answer. Though he did tell me about how he lives by this whole “Don’t ask, don’t tell” motto which is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a miserable way to live.

A week later he apologized. “I’m sorry, I’ve been having a tough time at work and at home and this crazy clingy girl has been texting me all the time and not leaving alone and I’m going through so much blah blah blah blah I didn’t want to talk to anyone earlier but now I’m okay with talking to you”. Great. I’m a fucking therapist, I guess.

We’ve spoken a few times since and half those times he was such a fucking jerk that I felt insulted to even continue the conversation. This past week, he has apparently been having a shitty week - his Twitter account looks like letters to a therapist, and he’s been whining more than a stray dog. I asked him what was wrong and he tells me how he quit his job “to chase his dreams” and now his mom is pissed.

Why would you do that? If I was your mom and I was letting my TWENTY-TWO year old grown-ass son live at home paying dimes for rent, I’d be pissed too. You’re supposed to be getting your life together, not being a fuck-up. How is he going to make any money?

“Ima sell pot.”

Genius. Fucking genius. I told him it was a bad idea, and once again, he wet his panties over how apparently insensitive I am and how he can’t be blamed for being a dreamer. Real cute, John Lennon. If you wanna keep chasing your dreams then take a fucking nap, okay? Get a reality check. He continued to freak out on me about how he’s gonna achieve his goals (it still isn’t clear what they are, exactly) and get money and fuck bitches and etc etc. He went so far as to block me on all of my accounts on the internet. Oh well. He’ll thank me one day. What a pussy.

Yesterday, I noticed his lady-friend from September favouriting my passive-aggressive tweets. So, I’m thinking “Great, Kevin blocked me and now he’s going around talking shit to his friends”. Shortly after, I get a private message from her, asking about Kevin and I. And if we’ve been seeing each other. And when, exactly. So I tell her. And after 10 minutes of conversation it becomes apparent that

a. She’s the “crazy clingy girl” he told me about, and,

b. Kevin has been seeing her since AUGUST.

Hold the fuck up. August? Turns out that the Monday following my birthday weekend was the first time he went out with this girl. Yup. On Sunday we have morning sex and go out for breakfast and on Monday he goes out with a new bitch. On Wednesday he texts me with kissy faces and “Happy birthday, babe!” while he’s fucking another girl. Back in September they were certainly seeing each other as I expected, but I guess he couldn’t bear losing his options so he still wanted me to stick around. You know, for when he got sick of her. And she would be there for when he got sick of me. This is vile.

And the fucked up part is, this girl that he was seeing is actually completely fucking normal. I’d love to say that he went out and found some slutty, empty-headed bimbo slut, and that I’m the only decent person he could ever get with, but it’s not the case. This girl seems like she has a decent head on her shoulders and isn’t a loose whore. Hell, she’s nice enough to be friends with. She didn’t deserve any of this shit to happen to her either. And get this, they ended things because he thought he didn’t listen to his problems enough. Yeah, as if he ever did the same back. What a self-absorbed prick. Apparently he even told her that his dream girl is:

a girl who’s fit, doesn’t talk too much, isn’t clingy, smokes weed, doesn’t talk too much, doesn’t have too many problems, gives good head, isn’t needy, and doesn’t need to constantly be complimented. Oh, and listens to good music.

Excuse me!? GIRLS LIKE THAT DON’T EXIST. Fuck you for having that ideal. And fuck you for treating decent girls like total shit for not being your little empty-headed fucktoys. There’s nothing that makes me quite as furious as misogynistic assholes.

You know, the reason why Kevin is such a fuckbag is because he’s so insecure that he can’t bear it so he has to bully girls to give himself an ego boost. It was just a week ago that he was telling me how he bitched out some sixteen year old girl. Wow Kevy, a girl six years your junior!? What a manly man you are! I tremble like a leaf in fear of you. You are so TOUGH. Oh, be still, my beating heart!

There you have it. Some stupid motherfucker had ~~a good chance~~ two chances with two different girls had he not been so self-righteous as to manipulate me and her to his advantage. And the worst part? He doesn’t have it in him to apologize. In fact, when I texted him last night, he tucked his tail between his legs and told me “H-hey stop talking to m-me. I- I’ll… I’ll press ch-charges!”. I added a stutter into that since I figured he would either be sobbing or shitting his pants. Go ahead, drug dealer. Press charges. You’ll look real cute when you walk into that cop station with half an ounce of weed in your right pocket and a bag of MDMA in the other.

Photo

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 22:14:41 -0400

(via The Fear Girls)

Sun, 07 Oct 2012 04:00:46 -0400

(via The Fear Girls)

Photo

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 03:00:18 -0400