I have this theory about guys. And girls. And relationships. And cheating. And how everyone, including myself, is dissatisfied with relationships and stuff.
The other day I was hanging out with a friend, smoked a joint in my living room, had good chats, you know, typical lazy Sunday . We were both baked and tired, and it was getting late so I was ready to go to bed but before he headed home we went outside to have a cigarette on my porch. And it’s bloody freezing out. Dark, crisp, fucking bone-chilling. As we’re sitting there, we see this girl waddle across the parking lot, and as she gets closer it becomes apparent that it’s the girl my roommate’s banging. So she comes up to the door and she’s like shaking and chattering her teeth and I’m sitting there, in front of my roommate’s window behind which he’s probably toasty warm under the covers, while his car is in the parking lot and I’m sitting there, wondering out loud:
“If this girl is here to bang him, might potentially even classify as a girlfriend, why is she walking herself over here like she’s a pizza delivery? It’s a nasty winter night. Better yet, why doesn’t my roommate have enough manners to pick her up in his warm vehicle and bring her here, or even better yet, GO TO HER?”
After all, he gets to stick his dick in her. What does she get. 5 minutes of awful sex? I’m not making that up, by the way. 5 minutes of fake screams (which are probably not reinforcing the fact that it’s bad sex) that require so much effort of getting to. Why? Why do girls do this? And why is it that guys are ultimately not satisfied with this even though it is what they want and enjoy? After all, it’s not like my roommate doesn’t change these girls like he changes t-shirts. In fact, I suspect he changes these girls more often than he changes t-shirts. But I won’t go into that. Point is, whatever girl(s) filled that role in the summer didn’t even get to spend the night. This one just happens not to have a car, I guess.
And what I figure is, it’s a vicious cycle. You have these cliche girls who are mostly concerned with getting a guy and eventually, a soccer mom SUV, a beige house, 2.5 kids and a golden retriever. Because that’s the “norm” according to “society” - or it’s the american dream fed to us through toothpaste and laundry detergent TV commercials. (Because Tide makes your family full of love and joy while without Crest toothpaste, that hot guy who could be your ~soulmate~ won’t even talk to you because of your yellow teeth, you troll). So these girls put out. They stick on their gel nails and bleach the fuck out of their hair, throw on some stupid True Religion jeans and go out on the town with the hopes that someone will stick their dick into them. And then they get fucked and stick around for the night giggling and talking about the next big Coach factory store sale while the dude just smiles and nods. I bet these girls go home thinking “Yes! That $100 I dropped at Victoria’s Secret did the trick!”. To some, that’s happiness. It’s all a fucking lie though.
What happens next? They get fucked a few times but this whole “relationship” is nothing but a false fucking ideal because the girls get so encapsulated by filling that ideal that to guys, they just seem like living versions of that “Shit Girls Say” youtube/twitter without valid personalities and that isn’t cool. I don’t believe that they don’t have personalities, they just get too obsessed with not really showing them. At least I hope. I really do hope that there is more to a person’s life than purses and getting salon/spa services.
So then what do the guys do? They dump these bitches. Or cheat on them. Whichever is more rewarding. I can’t blame them. They’re bored. I probably would be too. So then they go find a different girl - in fact, any other girl, any girl with any public display of personality - and pursue that one. After this point, the girl is either a carbon copy of the last one, which will just start the cycle over, OR, the girl is one with a bit more brains, or a bit more edge, and that one doesn’t even last as long as the giggly fake orgasm one because
1. she doesn’t have fake orgasms or giggles over every word
2. she’s more intimidating.
It’s true. Intelligence can be intimidating. I can confirm that. Sometimes being around people who are knowledgable makes you nervous. That’s kind of fucking cool though. Some people pursue shit like that because that’s enticing. Not slutty club outfits. I mean of course, a revealing dress will give a guy a boner, but he won’t remember that dress ever again except maybe for a split second while he’s jerking it in the shower, but words and conversations stick around for way longer than that. And some people are afraid of that. So yeah, they get it in with these girls who aren’t any less hot than the girl dancing on some pole at some bar, but it ends there because the girl has so much more than just looks to offer and actually has to be pursued. And who wants to pursue girls when there’s other girls who will just deliver themselves in the middle of the cold winter night to comfort you like a
Pizza Hut special? Pizza SLUT special - it’s the kind that you don’t have to pay for. HA.
And what’s worse is that the girls who have careers, goals, aspirations that don’t involve a guy as the achievement, get low self worth because guys go for what’s easy. And the girls that are easy are still not good enough because they’re boring yet they feel the only way to get a guy is to continue being easy. Because I mean, if a guy chucks them after she spreads her legs for him as he pleases, what chance does she have if she’s harder to get? It’s a morbid way of thinking. But no one is okay with being single these days it seems, so somehow, half-assed so-called “relationships” are somehow better.
Except they’re not. That’s the thing. Is it so bad to be your own person and stop giving so many fucks about what the opposite sex thinks and just *live your life* as you please, and let someone be delighted by you- I apologize for quoting that stupid Bruno Mars song- ~just the way you are?
That’s just a crazy thought, though. It takes time, and confidence, and maybe just a little bit of faith in yourself or others for stuff like that to happen. It seems that to most people, the idea of being liked “just the way they are” (fuck this fucking song) translates to something like “being liked the way I am… after I put on my foundation, oh and my eyebrows, oh and at least some mascara too, oh and the Urban Decay Naked eyeshadow pallette shave my legs and dye my hair and go shopping for new outfits and stick my tits into this $80 Ultra Wonder Sexy Miracle Super Quadruple Push Up Ultra Voluptuous Front Closure Angel Baby Luxury Bra from VS”. That fucking Naked palette IS really nice make up but the whole idea behind it is “look natural without being natural” which is sort of suggesting that having a face that’s ACTUALLY naked is not okay. I keep thinking of the first 5 minutes of Bridesmaids. Perfect example of what I’m trying to explain here.
Oh well. Whatever. I’m kind of disheartened by pretty much everything this week. I haven’t ranted in a while. Christmas is in 11 fucking days, y’all. I still feel like I could lose my mind 1000 times over before the year ends, though.