When I say “boycott” I don’t mean I’m going to stand on street corners protesting against this “holiday” or buying roses to cover them in black paint, but I refuse to celebrate valentine’s day by buying into the ridiculous phenomenon. And here’s why:

Valentine’s day is nothing but a corporate money-grab. It’s not really a holiday, because there isn’t anything to celebrate. It’s just full of shit. Pink, heart-shaped, lovey-dovey shit.

Let me explain myself. Following the above statement most people respond with things like “Hey, you’re just being a Negative Nancy because you’re single and you just want to rain on everyone’s parade because you’re a loser and don’t have a valentine”. And no, that’s not the case. First off, I’m more than content being single as as-a-matter-of-fact am currently sort of super casually seeing someone. Perhaps it might even be less casual, more serious in a month from now. However, that won’t change my stance on valentine’s day. If I happen to have a boyfriend on valentine’s, whether it be this year, or ever, I’ll be welcoming him to go take a hike on that day. (That’s a lie, because that would be rude. I’d tell him to treat that day as any regular day, and not get me so much as a cinnamon heart. I happen to love that shit and therefore have no problem buying it for myself like I would a box of cereal or a frozen pizza.)

Thing is, every major brand and retailer is more excited for valentine’s day than a teenage girl on her first date. This “holiday” exists based on the social stigma that you HAVE to buy your special someone flowers, cards, chocolates, jewelry, etc in order to show your affection. But the truth is, affection has nothing to do with it. What REALLY has to do with it is the idea that you HAVE to participate in Valentine’s day because if you don’t you’re

a. a terrible person

b. leaving yourself out

c. making your lover feel unloved

Thus, as a result, there’s a stream of dudes rushing to flower shops and jewellery stores not because they want to, but because they’re expected to. It’s an obligation. And that’s kind of disgusting.

In my opinion, valentine’s day shouldn’t be a set day, but more of a concept that says

“Hey, pick a day out of the year where you surprise your special someone by doing something nice for them. Whatever you want - be creative. Do something they like. Buy them flowers IF they like flowers. Buy them chocolates and heart-shaped things, but only if that’s what they like. If they happen to like comic books or shrunken heads more then take it consideration. Plan a nice night. Take them out for dinner. Cook them a meal yourself. And do this only if you actually want to.”

Because that’s something a person might want to do for a girlfriend or boyfriend, because they like, love them and shit. Not because jewellery store ads are feeding you this bullshit that she will feel unwanted without that stupid sparkly garbage. In fact, forget that once-a-year bullshit. Do that shit when you want to, because you want to, and not because it’s February 14th and everyone is doing it and every store is sticking pink hearts in your face. I think valentine’s day cards need to be adorned with a disclaimer that says “I got this for you because everyone is doing it and I feel obligated to do so myself”. Genuine, right? It must be true love.

Do pick up a bag of cinnamon hearts this season, though. That shit is tasty.

From what I understand, 70% of Albertan pharmacists are trying to ban customers and patients from earning loyalty program points when refilling their prescriptions (i.e. Airmiles at Safeway, Optimum points at Shoppers) since apparently some people are tempted to put off their refills until they can get them all on the same day and get extra points and it apparently discourages them from using smaller pharmacies.

Okay. So typically, I’m not the kind of person to take the side of corporate giants, but here’s the deal. Taking away rewards points from prescriptions doesn’t benefit myself as a consumer in any way whatsoever. The argument that people are delaying their refills so they can get them all on the same day is stupid. A lot of medications out there are meant to be taken on a daily basis, without stopping. By breaking the cycle, people would be putting their health in jeopardy, and depending on the medication, experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Would I want to jeopardize my health and purposefully make myself feel like shit just so I can earn some bonus points? Fuck no.

In fact, last time I was at the pharmacy, I was picking up both my prescriptions at once. And you know what? That shit is expensive! And as far as I know, it doesn’t matter if I pick them up together or separately, the price and point earnings stay the same - if I want a large lump sum of points, I’m going to be dropping a large lump sum of cash. I’m fortunate to have 80% insurance coverage on my prescriptions. But even after than, one of them costs about $1 per pill, so when I pick up a 90-day supply and throw my birth control into the mix, I’m leaving more than $100 at the counter.

And yes, having a discount on my make up, or magazines, or junk food that I pick up on my way out of Shoppers DOES make me feel hella better. Do the points give Shoppers or Safeway pharmacies an advantage over small pharmacies. Yes. But taking the points away doesn’t make me want to use the little pharmacy across the road from my house. Sure, it only takes a minute to walk there but the goddamn place closes early. From what I can see through their dark windows, they have a really small selection. They probably take longer to get medicine ready. And other than drugs and maybe tampons, they don’t sell so much as a fucking chocolate bar. Shoppers on the other hand, is open late. Some are open 24 hours. I can have the prescription filled quickly while I wait in the store, call it in, go online, or use a fucking app on my iphone if that’s easiest. I can go there at 11:30pm to pick it up, grab some make up from their miniature-Sephora make-up section, pick up a magazine, stock up on deodorant or tampons or what have you, and grab some basic groceries too JUST BECAUSE I CAN. Just because I have midnight cravings for ice cream or chocolate and I like that store better than 7/11. Just because it’s that store that I have to go to for my pills whether I like it or not.

I’ve used at least $30 in rewards at Shoppers this year alone, but a closer estimate would probably be $40 or $45. That’s a very reasonable amount of free merchandise. Just because I filled prescriptions on a regular basis, which is pretty much mandatory. What about people who have more medications, or fill prescriptions for their whole family? I can only imagine how expensive they can get. What’s so bad about letting the consumer save in a different area of the store, or online? It’s not like pharmacists are pimping out different medications based on their point value like “Hey, switch to this brand of birth control even though it may not be the right one for your body, this one will get you twice the points!!!”. And the rewards program itself has nothing to do with the pharmacy. It’s not like the reward is handed out in pharmaceuticals like “This weekend only! Refill your Xanax for 30 days and get 2 free pills! Refill your Xanax for 60 days and get 5 free pills! Refill your Xanax for 90 days and get 10 FREE PILLS PLUS A JUMBO SIZED LIMITED EDITION NEON POLKA DOT PILL BOTTLE* *while supplies last *limit 1 per customer”. That would be a pretty ridiculous scene, no?

But apparently there’s something awful about me being able to get a free piece of expensive make-up for spending hundreds on prescriptions each year. What the fuck, I’d take those $40 rewards even if they were limited to only things like vitamins or cough syrup or food. It’s just a goddamn perk and a nice surprise when you collect enough of them.

OK RANT OVER

I have this theory about guys. And girls. And relationships. And cheating. And how everyone, including myself, is dissatisfied with relationships and stuff. 

The other day I was hanging out with a friend, smoked a joint in my living room, had good chats, you know, typical lazy Sunday . We were both baked and tired, and it was getting late so I was ready to go to bed but before he headed home we went outside to have a cigarette on my porch. And it’s bloody freezing out. Dark, crisp, fucking bone-chilling. As we’re sitting there, we see this girl waddle across the parking lot, and as she gets closer it becomes apparent that it’s the girl my roommate’s banging. So she comes up to the door and she’s like shaking and chattering her teeth and I’m sitting there, in front of my roommate’s window behind which he’s probably toasty warm under the covers, while his car is in the parking lot and I’m sitting there, wondering out loud:

“If this girl is here to bang him, might potentially even classify as a girlfriend, why is she walking herself over here like she’s a pizza delivery? It’s a nasty winter night. Better yet, why doesn’t my roommate have enough manners to pick her up in his warm vehicle and bring her here, or even better yet, GO TO HER?” 

After all, he gets to stick his dick in her. What does she get. 5 minutes of awful sex? I’m not making that up, by the way. 5 minutes of fake screams (which are probably not reinforcing the fact that it’s bad sex) that require so much effort of getting to. Why? Why do girls do this? And why is it that guys are ultimately not satisfied with this even though it is what they want and enjoy? After all, it’s not like my roommate doesn’t change these girls like he changes t-shirts. In fact, I suspect he changes these girls more often than he changes t-shirts. But I won’t go into that. Point is, whatever girl(s) filled that role in the summer didn’t even get to spend the night. This one just happens not to have a car, I guess.

And what I figure is, it’s a vicious cycle. You have these cliche girls who are mostly concerned with getting a guy and eventually, a soccer mom SUV, a beige house, 2.5 kids and a golden retriever. Because that’s the “norm” according to “society” - or it’s the american dream fed to us through toothpaste and laundry detergent TV commercials. (Because Tide makes your family full of love and joy while without Crest toothpaste, that hot guy who could be your ~soulmate~ won’t even talk to you because of your yellow teeth, you troll). So these girls put out. They stick on their gel nails and bleach the fuck out of their hair, throw on some stupid True Religion jeans and go out on the town with the hopes that someone will stick their dick into them. And then they get fucked and stick around for the night giggling and talking about the next big Coach factory store sale while the dude just smiles and nods. I bet these girls go home thinking “Yes! That $100 I dropped at Victoria’s Secret did the trick!”. To some, that’s happiness. It’s all a fucking lie though.

What happens next? They get fucked a few times but this whole “relationship” is nothing but a false fucking ideal because the girls get so encapsulated by filling that ideal that to guys, they just seem like living versions of that “Shit Girls Say” youtube/twitter without valid personalities and that isn’t cool. I don’t believe that they don’t have personalities, they just get too obsessed with not really showing them. At least I hope. I really do hope that there is more to a person’s life than purses and getting salon/spa services. 

So then what do the guys do? They dump these bitches. Or cheat on them. Whichever is more rewarding. I can’t blame them. They’re bored. I probably would be too. So then they go find a different girl - in fact, any other girl, any girl with any public display of personality - and pursue that one. After this point, the girl is either a carbon copy of the last one, which will just start the cycle over, OR, the girl is one with a bit more brains, or a bit more edge, and that one doesn’t even last as long as the giggly fake orgasm one because 

1. she doesn’t have fake orgasms or giggles over every word

2. she’s more intimidating.

It’s true. Intelligence can be intimidating. I can confirm that. Sometimes being around people who are knowledgable makes you nervous. That’s kind of fucking cool though. Some people pursue shit like that because that’s enticing. Not slutty club outfits. I mean of course, a revealing dress will give a guy a boner, but he won’t remember that dress ever again except maybe for a split second while he’s jerking it in the shower, but words and conversations stick around for way longer than that. And some people are afraid of that. So yeah, they get it in with these girls who aren’t any less hot than the girl dancing on some pole at some bar, but it ends there because the girl has so much more than just looks to offer and actually has to be pursued. And who wants to pursue girls when there’s other girls who will just deliver themselves in the middle of the cold winter night to comfort you like a Pizza Hut special? Pizza SLUT special - it’s the kind that you don’t have to pay for. HA.

And what’s worse is that the girls who have careers, goals, aspirations that don’t involve a guy as the achievement, get low self worth because guys go for what’s easy. And the girls that are easy are still not good enough because they’re boring yet they feel the only way to get a guy is to continue being easy. Because I mean, if a guy chucks them after she spreads her legs for him as he pleases, what chance does she have if she’s harder to get? It’s a morbid way of thinking. But no one is okay with being single these days it seems, so somehow, half-assed so-called “relationships” are somehow better.

Except they’re not. That’s the thing. Is it so bad to be your own person and stop giving so many fucks about what the opposite sex thinks and just *live your life* as you please, and let someone be delighted by you- I apologize for quoting that stupid Bruno Mars song- ~just the way you are? 

That’s just a crazy thought, though. It takes time, and confidence, and maybe just a little bit of faith in yourself or others for stuff like that to happen. It seems that to most people, the idea of being liked “just the way they are” (fuck this fucking song) translates to something like “being liked the way I am… after I put on my foundation, oh and my eyebrows, oh and at least some mascara too, oh and the Urban Decay Naked eyeshadow pallette shave my legs and dye my hair and go shopping for new outfits and stick my tits into this $80 Ultra Wonder Sexy Miracle Super Quadruple Push Up Ultra Voluptuous Front Closure Angel Baby Luxury Bra from VS”. That fucking Naked palette IS really nice make up but the whole idea behind it is “look natural without being natural” which is sort of suggesting that having a face that’s ACTUALLY naked is not okay. I keep thinking of the first 5 minutes of Bridesmaids. Perfect example of what I’m trying to explain here.

Oh well. Whatever. I’m kind of disheartened by pretty much everything this week. I haven’t ranted in a while. Christmas is in 11 fucking days, y’all. I still feel like I could lose my mind 1000 times over before the year ends, though. 

I’ve got a story to tell y’all today. Unfortunately this story doesn’t happen to be the best one, and it also happens to be mine. Quite frankly, I can only roll my eyes at it for so long and I need to purge this shit out of my system, once and for all.

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